Redline Xtreme

This unassuming red bottle was the next one up on my list of new energy drinks to test out. It was only like 8 ounces in the bottle and I thought it would be a lot like a small red bull so I was thinking this would be an easy review. Little did I know I picked up a can of whoop ass…

You may be saying to yourself, the guy that writes these reviews is just making a joke it’s not really a can of whoop ass, but I’m not joking. Look at all the warnings on this bottle.

The bottle was literally covered in warnings and basically a bunch of danger signs. It said to only drink 2 ounces of the stuff to assess your tolerance to it. Just 2 ounces! I read all of this stuff and naturally, I chugged it.

It’s been a day since I’ve drank it and let me tell ya, I have found “it”. The magical “it” factor that everyone talks about, it’s in this drink. The word “energy” doesn’t even describe what I felt. I was able to see sound and taste color. I could have beat Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee, and Jackie Chan in a fight at the same time. I could perform a symphony on the piano that would best Beethoven with one hand, and with the other hand I could hold two pieces of bread on Gordon Ramsay’s head telling him what an idiot sandwich he was. This drink gave me ALL the the power.

BUT, now that I am no longer being fueled by this liquid cocaine rocket juice, I am able to give it a somewhat legit review. So here goes…

THIS DRINK IS F%@KING GOOD. I got the star blast flavor and it was a nice mild fruity flavor with no bad aftertaste. It gave me all the energy in the world and what surprised me most was that it gave me social energy. No, I don’t know if that is a real thing but that’s what I’m going to call it. I am not the most social person in the world and I have taken a lot of quizzes and tests to see if I’m introverted or extroverted. According to the tests, and life, I am definitely introverted. I’d say I’m almost 90% introverted and this may sound a bit weird, but after drinking this thing I no longer had any issues talking to anyone at work or keeping conversations going which is crazy because I sell paint. I’ve heard all the typical stories and had every possible conversation with a customer. It was almost like it flipped a switch in my head to be an extroverted person for a few hours, which is bizarre but hey, that’s what happened. I’m trying to be as honest as I can with these reviews.

I would rank this a 10/10. Yes, it’s that good. The only two to have gotten a perfect score was by beloved monster and now this Redline Xtreme. I now have two amazing choices whenever I buy an energy drink. If I want to just kind of chill and still have energy I’d take the monster, but if I wanted to get something done and be able to talk your ear off in the process, Redline Xtreme. A perfect combo, Yin and Yang. Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.